Petaluma Mediation and
Law Office of Jane Iddings
Law Office of Jane Iddings
707-292-9121
Jane.Iddings@gmail.com
Jane.Iddings@gmail.com
Favorite Article
In February, 2001 when I was a columnist for the Arizona Daily Sun in Flagstaff, Arizona, I wrote a column that has been a favorite of my readers. Curiously, at the time I wrote this my husband and I were not living in wintry northern Arizona; instead we were living aboard our magnificent, blue hulled sailboat named Gone Away in the warm, blue-green water of Key West, Florida.
I hope you will enjoy this piece as much as my readers, friends and family have enjoyed reading it and as much as I enjoyed writing it. This version has minor edits from the original article.
"Aboard Gone Away --There are many events in our lives which we inevitably experience for the "last time." Some are precious, while others are merely the mundane. Had we known how precious they were, surely we would have paid more attention, possibly we would have acted differently, and certainly we would have etched them more carefully on our hearts and minds.
Do you remember the last time you saw someone you dearly loved? Frequently I have gone over in my mind the last time I saw my father. It was a bittersweet moment: I was saying goodbye to my parents just before my husband and I departed for South Africa. Our family spent many years on the African continent and we were always excited when one of us was returning. This farewell was different because of my parents' age -- the excitement was tinged with sadness, all of us fearing that we might not meet again. And we didn't. My father died while we were in Africa. Had I known, would I have stayed later, said more, hugged longer, imprinted his sweet face on my mind for safekeeping?
Our children provide endless "last times," yet more often than not we can't recall them. When was the last time your child held your hand or sat in your lap? Although I can remember when my son Aaron, now 28, took his first step, I don't remember the last time he cuddled in my lap. Had I known, would I have held on for dear life?
Some of the "last times" are the simple-yet-telling events of our lives. Do you remember the last time you wore a bikini, played hopscotch, won a race, ate without guilt or read without glasses? I remember the last time we went snow skiing. Later we decided to hang up our skis, but I didn't know this on that last run down the mountain. Had I known, would I have taken one more run, a victory lap in celebration and gratitude for years of spectacular skiing?
Sometimes the "last time" may speak of a whole era gone by. Maybe it was the last time you felt carefree. Maybe you've been diagnosed with a disease or injured in an accident, lost a life-long spouse or a best friend has moved away. Maybe you've gotten married or become a parent, come to the end of an academic goal or a marriage, taken on major job responsibilities or retired. Whatever it is, there's now a dividing line: the before and the after. I don't remember the day when I crossed the line from feeling young to being middle aged. Had I known, could I have dragged my feet? Where is the line for old age?
The point of becoming aware of the "last times" of our lives is to make the most of each moment, to have our hearts open to these experiences. While we can rarely anticipate when the last time will happen, we can always live our lives in such a way that what turns out to be the last time is exactly how we wanted it to be."
I hope you will enjoy this piece as much as my readers, friends and family have enjoyed reading it and as much as I enjoyed writing it. This version has minor edits from the original article.
"Aboard Gone Away --There are many events in our lives which we inevitably experience for the "last time." Some are precious, while others are merely the mundane. Had we known how precious they were, surely we would have paid more attention, possibly we would have acted differently, and certainly we would have etched them more carefully on our hearts and minds.
Do you remember the last time you saw someone you dearly loved? Frequently I have gone over in my mind the last time I saw my father. It was a bittersweet moment: I was saying goodbye to my parents just before my husband and I departed for South Africa. Our family spent many years on the African continent and we were always excited when one of us was returning. This farewell was different because of my parents' age -- the excitement was tinged with sadness, all of us fearing that we might not meet again. And we didn't. My father died while we were in Africa. Had I known, would I have stayed later, said more, hugged longer, imprinted his sweet face on my mind for safekeeping?
Our children provide endless "last times," yet more often than not we can't recall them. When was the last time your child held your hand or sat in your lap? Although I can remember when my son Aaron, now 28, took his first step, I don't remember the last time he cuddled in my lap. Had I known, would I have held on for dear life?
Some of the "last times" are the simple-yet-telling events of our lives. Do you remember the last time you wore a bikini, played hopscotch, won a race, ate without guilt or read without glasses? I remember the last time we went snow skiing. Later we decided to hang up our skis, but I didn't know this on that last run down the mountain. Had I known, would I have taken one more run, a victory lap in celebration and gratitude for years of spectacular skiing?
Sometimes the "last time" may speak of a whole era gone by. Maybe it was the last time you felt carefree. Maybe you've been diagnosed with a disease or injured in an accident, lost a life-long spouse or a best friend has moved away. Maybe you've gotten married or become a parent, come to the end of an academic goal or a marriage, taken on major job responsibilities or retired. Whatever it is, there's now a dividing line: the before and the after. I don't remember the day when I crossed the line from feeling young to being middle aged. Had I known, could I have dragged my feet? Where is the line for old age?
The point of becoming aware of the "last times" of our lives is to make the most of each moment, to have our hearts open to these experiences. While we can rarely anticipate when the last time will happen, we can always live our lives in such a way that what turns out to be the last time is exactly how we wanted it to be."
